Resources for Keeping Your Relationship Strong

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While many couples may have been feeling love-struck by Cupid’s arrow this Valentine’s Day, that love and affection may not necessarily mean that things are always rosy. For Sailors, the stressors that come with their Navy career can have an impact on their relationships with their significant other. Whether it’s a breakdown in communication, constant arguments, or just feeling like the spark is gone, there is always hope for rebuilding the connection and enhancing the love. Counseling can help strengthen your relationship and minimize the potential for relationship stress to impact other areas of your life and well-being.

Strengthening Relationships through Counseling

Healthy communication is a vital component of healthy and resilient relationships. The ability to express yourself clearly while also being able to listen attentively can help build trust with your partner, ensuring that you both feel secure and validated. A great setting for this communication is in counseling, where licensed therapists offer unbiased facilitation of discussion among partners to help you develop practical skills. This can include talking through thoughts and feelings, and exploring different ways to think or act in the relationship. Counseling can provide a safe space to proactively work through the challenges of a new or long-time marriage, a relationship that’s been strained by long deployments and frequent transitions, and a myriad of other stressors that Navy couples may face. Finding the type of relationship counseling or support that suits both your needs and your partner’s needs may take some work, but can ultimately lead to a stronger connection.

Counseling Services Available to Sailors and their Spouses

  • Non-medical Counseling: Short-term and solutions-focused non-medical counseling is available through Military OneSource and the Military and Family Life Counseling (MFLC) Program. These free services offer counseling with trained and licensed mental health professionals that can help you and your partner navigate a variety of relationship stressors, from reintegration challenges post-deployment, to parenting issues and more. Military OneSource sessions can be conducted via phone, secure video, online chat, or in-person. MFLC services are provided in-person, with additional resources offered through briefings and presentations on and off military installations. For more information, visit militaryonesoure.mil.

 

  • Counseling, Advocacy and Prevention (CAP): CAP services offer individual, group and family counseling services, including non-medical counseling and clinical counseling for issues related to the challenges of military and family life. These services are available free of charge to active duty personnel and their families at your local Fleet and Family Support Center (FFSC). A referral is not required for clinical and non-medical counseling offered through FFSCs and your command is not notified that you are seeking care. For more information and to contact your local FFSC, visit https://www.cnic.navy.mil/ffr/family_readiness/fleet_and_family_support_program/clinical_counseling.html.

 

  • Navy Chaplains: Navy chaplains provide a safe, non-judgmental and confidential space for individual Sailors and their family members (including spouses) to work through challenges, build connections and strengthen spiritual fitness. Chaplain care is available in-person through your local chaplain or you can reach out to Navy311 to be connected with one. The Navy Chaplain Corps also operates Chaplains Religious Enrichment Development Operation (CREDO). This program aims to strengthen spiritual well-being and individual resilience for Sailors, civilians, and families through workshops, seminars and retreats. Most CREDO sites have a Facebook page where you can find information on their program and any upcoming events and retreats that they may be hosting.

 

  • Medical Counseling: If there are issues with drug or alcohol abuse, physical abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder, a traumatic brain injury, or other psychological health issues impacting the stability of a marriage, Sailors and spouses can be seen by a Military Treatment Facility (MTF). A great start for figuring out medical counseling eligibility and services is to check with TRICARE (typically, a referral and prior authorization is needed), your health care provider or the Psychological Health Resource Center.

For couples who are not yet married, premarital counseling is a way to learn about communication styles, conflict resolution, and understanding one another’s expectations in marriage. Counseling for both married and engaged couples may be offered by the Fleet and Family Support Center at your home installation.

Connecting with Social Support

While professional help from a therapist is extremely useful, Sailors and their spouses can tap into the benefits of peer support from those who have experienced similar challenges. Fleet and Family Readiness Groups offer social support from other spouses who understand Navy life first-hand, promoting connectedness. The DoD Be There Peer Support Call and Outreach Center, provides free and confidential peer support to individual Sailors and family members for a range of relationship and family life issues, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To connect with a BeThere Peer Counselor, call 1-844-357-PEER, text 480-360-6188 or visit www.betherepeersupport.org.

Reaching Out is a Sign of Strength

Your relationship with your partner can be a protective factor against stress and adversity. Remember that counseling for marital or family concerns not related to violence by the Sailor are not required to be reported when answering question 21 on Standard Form 86 (the questionnaire for National Security Positions). For more information on psychological health treatment and security clearances, check out this Every Sailor, Every Day campaign infographic.

Controlling Your Finances Without Letting Them Control You

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The new year is here! You may feel a sense of calm and relief now that the holidays are over and you can get back into your regular routine. But perhaps your holiday spending wasn’t ideal, and you need to get back on track financially. Don’t worry! While it may take some work, fixing your finances post-holiday season isn’t an insurmountable task. “Improvement” doesn’t equal drastic changes; it could be a few small steps to help relieve some financial stress. Remembering this can help you stay on track during the process and keep your current financial situation from affecting how you see your value as a person.

People who connect their personal value with their financial state may consider a threat to their finances a huge stressor and threat to their self-worth, according to a study by Dr. Lora Park of the University of Buffalo. You’ve probably heard the phrase: “Money doesn’t buy happiness.” Achieving your definition of financial stability is important, but it won’t make other life stresses and issues disappear. A recent study by Dr. Matthew Monnot of the University of San Francisco found that human connections contribute to happiness more than money and that tying personal worth to extrinsic or external entities such as wealth can cause less satisfaction in life. A focus on intrinsic or internal needs like relationships and community can more positively impact well-being. So, while working on your relationship with your finances, work on your relationships with friends and family, too.

As you try to improve your finances after holiday spending, here are some tips from Every Sailor, Every Day campaign contributor and financial expert, Stacy Livingstone-Hoyte:

  • Be proactive about understanding your spending and how to recover. Look through receipts and other records of transactions to see what you spent, make sure your statements are accurate, and then figure out how your budget needs to change so you can recover financially, get your savings in check, and avoid additional debt. If budgeting isn’t your area of expertise, Military OneSource and MilitarySaves can help!
  • Figure out the financial balance that’s right for you. Making sure bills are paid each month and saving money for the future are important, but having some of your hard-earned money set aside for the fun stuff is good, too. When working on your budget, make reasonable room for all three. Having everything categorized can help you be prepared if unexpected expenses pop up. And don’t forget that the Blended Retirement System (BRS) is available as of January 1, 2018. If eligible and opting into BRS, consider how it may affect your finances.
  • Think ahead and look for bargains. The holiday season isn’t the only time you may find yourself buying gifts. Plan ahead for birthdays, anniversaries, and other celebrations by setting reminders a month in advance so you don’t scramble at the last minute to find a gift you hadn’t budgeted for. Also consider your relationship with the recipient, and think of non-monetary gifts that may be more meaningful. Incorporate ways to save in all of your shopping. Compare prices, use coupons, and take other steps to save on gas, groceries and other daily needs.

Following these steps and others that work for you can put you on the right track to getting your finances closer to where you want them to be.  Recovering financially after the holidays is a process, but dedication and the right mindset make it minimally stressful. Creating and maintaining a budget, determining what financial security is for you, saving daily, and realizing that money doesn’t determine your worth are key steps to making the improvements you want to see in 2018.

Nutrition’s Role in Building Resilience

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Editor’s Note: The following is a guest blog provided courtesy of the Real Warriors Campaign. Navy Suicide Prevention Branch is a proud partner of the Real Warriors Campaign. To learn more, visit www.realwarriors.net.

Proper nutrition is vital to maintaining good health and mission readiness.1 In this article, you will find tips on making healthy food choices, whether at home or while deployed. You can also help boost the resilience of your whole family by sharing these tips with loved ones.

Why Nutrition is Important

One of the most important drivers of good physical and psychological health is what we eat.2 Food provides the energy and nutrients you need to be healthy. Nutrients include:3

  • Proteins (e.g. fish, chicken, beans)
  • Carbohydrates (e.g., bread, fruits, vegetables)
  • Fats (e.g., walnuts, olive oils)
  • Vitamins (e.g., vitamin D, folic acid)
  • Minerals (e.g., potassium, calcium)
  • Water

In short, healthy food is really fuel for the body. This fuel is key to your physical and mental performance, and helps maintain emotional control during field operations.4 Beyond performance, nutrition also plays an important role in protecting overall health throughout a lifetime. A diet rich in whole grains, lean protein, fruits, vegetables and low-fat dairy products helps lower the risk of certain diseases such as diabetes.3

Nutrition Tips

While healthy food options may be limited while deployed, the military has long understood the role of nutrition for service members. The military is continually working on improving the food supply for deployed warriors such as introducing the Unitized Group Ration–Express, a nutritionally complete meal-in-a-box group ration, and re-assigning some dietitians at dining facilities to implement education programs and food selection recommendations.If you are deployed, keep these helpful nutrition tips in mind:

  • To boost energy, consume complex carbohydrates such as fruits and whole grain bread
  • To meet the demand for increased energy needs in the field, increase your intake of food to prevent fatigue
  • To meet the need for increased energy in cold weather and at high altitudes, try to eat healthy, nutritious snacks in between meals and drink more than your thirst may dictate since the sensation does not keep pace with water loss.
  • Drink plenty of fluids to avoid dehydration; even mild dehydration can reduce your physical and mental performance

While home, and when possible while deployed, the following daily nutrition recommendations are important to keep in mind:1,5

Fruits and vegetables Eat at least 3 – 5 servings of colorful vegetables and 2 or more servings of fruit each day.
Grains Aim for 6 or more servings of whole grain products each day.
Fiber 20 – 35 grams of dietary fiber are recommended daily, although a low-fiber diet may be preferred during some operations.
Dairy Aim to have 3 cups of low-fat dairy products, including milk, yogurt and cheese, each day.
Meat/beans Eat 7 ounces of meat or beans (legumes) each day, with lean or low-fat choices that are heavy on fish, beans, peas, nuts and seeds.

In addition to these food groups, research is also uncovering the importance of omega-3 fatty acids to a healthy diet. Omega-3 fatty acids have been linked to decreased risk of heart disease, certain cancers, circulatory problems and high blood pressure. Researchers have also linked omega-3 deficiencies with increased risk of depression or other psychological health concerns. Some studies indicate that supplements provided to warriors who have low levels of omega-3s might provide a significant boost in their mood and additional resistance to stress.1 Seafood, including oily ocean fish such as salmon, tuna, sardines and mackerel, are among the richest fish sources of DHA, one of the most efficient forms of omega-3 fatty acids. While there is no official recommendation on a recommended daily allowance for omega-3, dietary guidelines call for increasing the amount of seafood consumed as part of a healthy eating pattern.6

What Line Leaders Can Do

As a line leader, it is important to stay informed about your service’s nutrition programs. It is also important to educate units about nutrition using guidance from each respective service.1 Finally, you should provide a model for healthy eating behavior and encourage everyone to make nutrition choices that help build resilience and contribute to mission success.

Additional Resources

Sources

1Scott Montain, Christina Carvey and Mark Stephens. “Nutritional Fitness” [PDF 4.65MB], Total Force Fitness for the 21st Century, Supplement to Military Medicine-Volume 175. Published August 2010.
2The Nutrition Source, Harvard School of Public Health. Last accessed Aug. 20, 2014.
3Nutrition, MedLine Plus, National Institutes of Health. Last accessed Aug. 20, 2014.
4Module 6: High Caliber Nutrition in the Field [PDF 1.10MB], U.S. Army Public Health Command (Provisional). Last accessed Aug. 20, 2014.
5Patricia A. Deuster and others. “Sustaining Health for the Long-Term Warfighter” [PDF 451KB], The Warfighter Nutrition Guide, Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences. Last accessed Aug. 20, 2014.
6Covington, Maggie. “Omega-3 Fatty Acids,” American Family Physician. Published July 1, 2004.
7Health Consequences, Overweight & Obesity, Centers for Disease Control & Prevention.

Got the Keys? 5 Tips to be a Stress-Free DD

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The following post was contributed by Navy Alcohol and Drug Abuse Prevention’s Keep What You’ve Earned campaign (KWYE), helping Sailors and families drink responsibly and maintain their Behavioral Fitness. For additional KWYE resources, visit www.nadap.navy.mil.

So, you’ve decided to Give the Gift of a Designated Driver (DD) to your shipmates, saving a few dollars out of your holiday spending budget and potentially saving lives. Good move. Whether you’re a DD rookie or seasoned vet, a few tips can help you enjoy your night out sans alcohol and spare you some headaches along the way (because even though you won’t wakeup with a hangover, not planning ahead can turn a fun night into frustrating one).

  1. Choose a day that works for you.

While there’s never a bad time to a DD, you may want to give some thought to when you’ll be ready and willing to serve. Maybe Thursday nights are best for you or you prefer weekends since your days usually start early. If you don’t have a preference, consider whether there are certain circumstances where you may have a harder time totally avoiding alcohol. If you know you’ll be tempted to have a few brews while watching Monday Night Football at the bar, don’t put yourself and others at risk if you don’t think you’ll truly spend the evening alcohol-free. Plan for you and your friends to use a ride-sharing service to and from the bar instead. The Keep What You’ve Earned campaign’s Pier Pressure mobile app offers easy access to Uber and Lyft, as well as quick tools to help you gauge your drinking when you’re not serving as a DD, like a blood alcohol content estimator and calorie counter. Download on the Apple App Store or Google Play today so it’s already on your phone when you need it.

  1. Make a list and check it twice.

Who’s coming? Where are you going? What time are you leaving? Set a plan that you’re comfortable with since you’re the driver. If there are more people than there are seatbelts in the car, enlist another person to take the pledge and drive. Agree on what stops you’ll make ahead of time, what time you’ll leave and where you’ll meet at the end of the night. And—because trying to convince someone who’s had a few drinks that it’s time to go isn’t fun for anyone—make an agreement that everyone comes in together and leaves together. No exceptions.

  1. Get the keys before you head out.

Decide on whose car you’re driving and get the keys before you leave so you won’t have to wrestle for them later. This is the safest way to ensure that no one who has been drinking ends up behind the wheel. It’s also a physical reminder of your commitment to your shipmates that you won’t drink and will get everyone home safely.

  1. No alcohol – at all!

A DD isn’t just the least drunk of the bunch or the one who’s only had a sip or two – it’s the person who has agreed ahead of time not to consume any alcohol. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t drink with your friends. Toss back a mocktail (or a few since you don’t have to worry about getting drunk—just watch out for hidden sugars). Try OPNAV N17 Dietician Lt. Pamela Gregory’s “Ginger Lime Fizz.” Ask the bartender to combine three parts ginger beer and one part seltzer water with a few squeezes of lime. You can also nix the rum in a traditional mojito recipe for a mocktail version. Try it with muddled cranberries or a splash of cranberry juice for a seasonal spin. Don’t forget to alternate your rounds with water so that everyone is pacing themselves.

  1. Turn down for what?

While not consuming alcohol is one of the most important parts of your commitment, it doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy the party. If you show your shipmates that you can still have a good time without alcohol, they’ll be willing to step up to the plate next time and be a DD. So, turn up! You’ll surely be the winner at pool or darts, and may even score a non-alcoholic drink or appetizer courtesy the bar if they offer goodies for DDs (ask!). If you’re out with a big group, hang out with another person who isn’t drinking, like the DD for the other car. People-watch together, shoot pool, dance, watch the game…just don’t take or post videos or photos of your friends who may be partying a little too hard. They probably won’t appreciate the laughs at their expense the next morning.

Above all, be proud of yourself and connect with the meaning behind your commitment. Responsible DDs have contributed to alcohol related incidents decreasing in the Navy since 2013. While it feels good to give to others, it also doesn’t hurt if your shipmates find small ways to show their appreciation as well. After all, helping them avoid a DUI can save them anywhere from $10,000 to $1 million over their lifetime. That’s worthy of an appetizer or mocktail courtesy of your crew (shipmates, take note!).

This FITmas, give the gift of a designated driver to help your shipmates celebrate responsibly and keep what they’ve earned.

Concerned about alcohol use? The Navy has a non-disciplinary self-referral process that allows Sailors to get treatment and remain on active-duty. Learn more on the Pier Pressure app (click Tools > Self-Referral) or visit www.nadap.navy.mil.

Celebrate This FITmas!

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When you think about the holiday season, what comes to mind? Eating way too much and feeling like there’s no time to exercise? Feeling stressed out, maybe because of money issues from holiday purchases? Worrying about how to deal with family without pulling all your hair out? Having a hard time feeling grateful because it seems like there’s just always something that comes up to cause more stress? Okay, hopefully not all of that. But in spite of the great opportunity to reconnect with family and friends and share love, laughs, food, and fun, sometimes, the holidays can be a difficult time with unique challenges to navigate.

That’s where 21 Days of Total Sailor FITmas come in! From December 14, 2017 through January 3, 2018, the Every Sailor, Every Day campaign will have tools, tips and tricks to help you develop and continue to build healthy habits that you can sustain into the New Year and beyond. “Healthy habits” may sound like eating well and doing cardio, but for the 21 Days of Total Sailor FITmas, it’s much more than that. It’s about taking proactive steps that can help you reach your goals related to physical fitness, behavioral health, financial responsibility, psychological and emotional well-being, family relationship strength and spiritual wellness.

We will offer tips on maintaining your physical fitness routine when you’re short on time and space, ways that journaling and gratitude can improve your mood, the positive impacts of mindfulness, links between nutrition and stress levels, how screen time isn’t just something to worry about for toddlers and much more. Practical and helpful action steps will allow you, friends and family members to learn things to incorporate into daily life to improve multiple facets of fitness and get a head start on those New Year’s resolutions!

And, keeping with the holiday theme of connection, the 21 Days of Total Sailor FITmas will include tips from Navy partners in the 21st Century Sailor Office, the Navy & Marine Corps Public Health Center, the Navy Chaplain Corps, as well as Guard Your Health, Real Warriors Campaign and the Human Performance Resource Center.

Unwrap new FITmas tools this season by following Navy Operational Stress Control on Facebook, on Twitter and WordPress. And don’t be a Grinch! Share the resources and tips with your shipmates, friends and family, too!

What are you and your family grateful for this season? Kick off the 21 Days of Total Sailor FITmas by sharing your inspiration through the 1 Small ACT Photo Gallery:

  1. Visit http://go.usa.gov/x8qNu to select and print a 1 Small ACT Sign from the Every Sailor, Every Day campaign webpage. Choose from a seasonal gratitude sign to share what you and/or your family are grateful for, or our Small ACT Selfie sign to share your commitment to be there for yourself or others.
  2. Personalize your sign and take a photo with you and/or your family holding it.
  3. Submit your photo to navysuicideprevention@gmail.com or upload to Facebook and tag @U.S. Navy Operational Stress Control for inclusion in the gallery on Facebook and Flickr.