Tag Archives: Relationships

Resources for Keeping Your Relationship Strong


While many couples may have been feeling love-struck by Cupid’s arrow this Valentine’s Day, that love and affection may not necessarily mean that things are always rosy. For Sailors, the stressors that come with their Navy career can have an impact on their relationships with their significant other. Whether it’s a breakdown in communication, constant arguments, or just feeling like the spark is gone, there is always hope for rebuilding the connection and enhancing the love. Counseling can help strengthen your relationship and minimize the potential for relationship stress to impact other areas of your life and well-being.

Strengthening Relationships through Counseling

Healthy communication is a vital component of healthy and resilient relationships. The ability to express yourself clearly while also being able to listen attentively can help build trust with your partner, ensuring that you both feel secure and validated. A great setting for this communication is in counseling, where licensed therapists offer unbiased facilitation of discussion among partners to help you develop practical skills. This can include talking through thoughts and feelings, and exploring different ways to think or act in the relationship. Counseling can provide a safe space to proactively work through the challenges of a new or long-time marriage, a relationship that’s been strained by long deployments and frequent transitions, and a myriad of other stressors that Navy couples may face. Finding the type of relationship counseling or support that suits both your needs and your partner’s needs may take some work, but can ultimately lead to a stronger connection.

Counseling Services Available to Sailors and their Spouses

  • Non-medical Counseling: Short-term and solutions-focused non-medical counseling is available through Military OneSource and the Military and Family Life Counseling (MFLC) Program. These free services offer counseling with trained and licensed mental health professionals that can help you and your partner navigate a variety of relationship stressors, from reintegration challenges post-deployment, to parenting issues and more. Military OneSource sessions can be conducted via phone, secure video, online chat, or in-person. MFLC services are provided in-person, with additional resources offered through briefings and presentations on and off military installations. For more information, visit militaryonesoure.mil.


  • Counseling, Advocacy and Prevention (CAP): CAP services offer individual, group and family counseling services, including non-medical counseling and clinical counseling for issues related to the challenges of military and family life. These services are available free of charge to active duty personnel and their families at your local Fleet and Family Support Center (FFSC). A referral is not required for clinical and non-medical counseling offered through FFSCs and your command is not notified that you are seeking care. For more information and to contact your local FFSC, visit https://www.cnic.navy.mil/ffr/family_readiness/fleet_and_family_support_program/clinical_counseling.html.


  • Navy Chaplains: Navy chaplains provide a safe, non-judgmental and confidential space for individual Sailors and their family members (including spouses) to work through challenges, build connections and strengthen spiritual fitness. Chaplain care is available in-person through your local chaplain or you can reach out to Navy311 to be connected with one. The Navy Chaplain Corps also operates Chaplains Religious Enrichment Development Operation (CREDO). This program aims to strengthen spiritual well-being and individual resilience for Sailors, civilians, and families through workshops, seminars and retreats. Most CREDO sites have a Facebook page where you can find information on their program and any upcoming events and retreats that they may be hosting.


  • Medical Counseling: If there are issues with drug or alcohol abuse, physical abuse, post-traumatic stress disorder, a traumatic brain injury, or other psychological health issues impacting the stability of a marriage, Sailors and spouses can be seen by a Military Treatment Facility (MTF). A great start for figuring out medical counseling eligibility and services is to check with TRICARE (typically, a referral and prior authorization is needed), your health care provider or the Psychological Health Resource Center.

For couples who are not yet married, premarital counseling is a way to learn about communication styles, conflict resolution, and understanding one another’s expectations in marriage. Counseling for both married and engaged couples may be offered by the Fleet and Family Support Center at your home installation.

Connecting with Social Support

While professional help from a therapist is extremely useful, Sailors and their spouses can tap into the benefits of peer support from those who have experienced similar challenges. Fleet and Family Readiness Groups offer social support from other spouses who understand Navy life first-hand, promoting connectedness. The DoD Be There Peer Support Call and Outreach Center, provides free and confidential peer support to individual Sailors and family members for a range of relationship and family life issues, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. To connect with a BeThere Peer Counselor, call 1-844-357-PEER, text 480-360-6188 or visit www.betherepeersupport.org.

Reaching Out is a Sign of Strength

Your relationship with your partner can be a protective factor against stress and adversity. Remember that counseling for marital or family concerns not related to violence by the Sailor are not required to be reported when answering question 21 on Standard Form 86 (the questionnaire for National Security Positions). For more information on psychological health treatment and security clearances, check out this Every Sailor, Every Day campaign infographic.

Suicide Prevention Resources for Military Families


Editor’s Note: The following is a guest blog provided courtesy of the Real Warriors Campaign. Navy Suicide Prevention Branch is a proud partner of the Real Warriors Campaign. To learn more, visit www.realwarriors.net.

Suicide is a national health problem that is preventable. Its prevention is of special concern to the military community because active-duty service members and veterans account for approximately 20-22 percent of all deaths from suicide in the United States.

Use the information below to learn how to recognize suicide risk. With this knowledge, you can help your loved one get the care and support that he or she needs.

Risk Factors and Warning Signs of Suicide

Service members and veterans face many stressors that can increase their risk for suicide. Risk factors include both combat and peacetime challenges, like traumatic experiences and frequent moves. Left unaddressed, stressors can become overwhelming. Service members and veterans may be more vulnerable to substance use disorders and mood disorders because of high levels of stress. Both disorders are associated with military suicide. Other stressors that increase suicide risk include relationship problems, work problems and disciplinary or legal issues.

Some behaviors may be warning signs that indicate a warrior is at high risk for suicide. If any of the following are impacting your warrior’s daily life—or are new, persistent or worsening—you should encourage your warrior to get help right away.

  • Talking or writing about self-harm, suicide or death
  • Having trouble sleeping or oversleeping
  • Withdrawing from friends, family or society
  • Increasing alcohol or drug use
  • Engaging in risky or reckless behaviors
  • Experiencing rage or excessive anger
  • Expressing anxiety, agitation or hopelessness
  • Showing dramatic changes in mood

How to Get Help for Your Loved One

Each service has a suicide prevention program that involves observation, dialogue, support and action. Examples include the Army’s “ACE: Ask, Care, Escort” and the Navy’s “ACT: Ask, Care, Treat.” You can use any of these approaches to help a service member or veteran. It is most important to recognize when a warrior is in crisis. Then talk to that warrior, provide support and get help to prevent suicide.

If you think someone is at risk, you can:

  • Ask the person if he or she is thinking about suicide. Be caring, but direct.
  • Call 911 if they are an immediate danger to themselves or those around them.
  • Remove weapons, drugs or other dangerous items from their environment.
  • Stay with the person in crisis until help arrives.
    • If you are on the phone with a person in crisis, stay on the line with that person and use another phone to call 911.

If you or a warrior you know needs help, there are many resources available including:

Service-Specific Suicide Prevention Programs and Resources

Remember, reaching out is a sign of strength. If you or a loved one needs additional support, contact the DCoE Outreach Center 24/7 to confidentially speak with trained health resource consultants, call 866-966-1020 or use the Real Warriors Live Chat. You can also visit our “Seek Help, Find Care” page to see a list of key psychological health resources.

3 Ways to Take ACTion this Suicide Prevention Month


Suicide Prevention Month is an opportunity to reenergize the conversation and set a positive tone for the upcoming fiscal year. Here are three meaningful ways to build community, strengthen protective factors and demonstrate your command’s commitment to suicide prevention:

Connect with your shipmates. Use this month to find everyday ways to make a difference to others. Bringing a shipmate a cup of coffee or sharing a meal together may seem small, but they can have a huge impact when someone is feeling disconnected. These are also opportunities to check in on your shipmate and offer a listening ear. Pay attention to cues that may be warning signs of a crisis, like indicating that they feel like they’re trapped by their current circumstances; are more agitated, angry or anxious than usual; are drinking more alcohol than usual, etc. If you hear these or other concerns, ACT (Ask, Care, Treat). Start by asking if they’re thinking about killing themselves. Listen closely and let your shipmate know you care about their well-being and are concerned for their safety. Get your shipmate to someone who can help: a Navy chaplain, provider or call the Military Crisis Line (1-800-273-TALK, press 1). Don’t leave your shipmate alone and remind them that you will be there to support them throughout their recovery process. Check out BeThe1To.com for additional tips to help someone in crisis.

Get Moving, Together. Exercise strengthens our physical and psychological health, and can boost connection with others; protective factors against suicide. Organize a 5K walk or run aboard your ship or installation in support of suicide prevention and Total Sailor Fitness. Include stations along the route to educate and motivate participants, like a trivia table staffed by the command SPC, health promotion coordinator, drug and alcohol program adviser (DAPA) or other personnel. Use the information in the 1 Small ACT Toolkit to develop questions related to self-care, stress zones, suicide risk and protective factors, and offer incentives to those who participate. You can also set up a Small ACT Selfie station stocked with printed signs and markers. Snap a photo of participants holding their completed signs and email them to navysuicideprevention@gmail.com for inclusion in the 1 Small ACT Photo Gallery. Following the event, collect the signs and post them throughout high-traffic areas in your command to serve as reminders of the simple ways to be there for others and support your own psychological health.

Share Stories of Hope and Recovery. We are all influencing the conversation about stress and suicide and have the power to reshape negative perceptions. Less than one percent of security clearances are revoked or denied because of psychological health reasons. Real-life stories of those who have sought help for psychological health concerns and have gone on to live healthy and productive lives can be powerful reminders that help works. Make the Connection offers testimonial videos featuring service members and veterans that you can share on social media or play during a small group discussion, such as this veteran describing how he got through tough times with support from friends and family. You can also view and share the story of PRC Jeromy Kelsey (Ret.) from the NavStress YouTube page. Be sure to brush up on how to safely communicate about suicide by checking out the tips in the 1 Small ACT Toolkit.

Every Sailor, Every Day starts with US. For additional ways to make a difference and lead by example, download the 30 Days of Small ACTs calendar and share it with your shipmates.

5 Small ACTs to Help You Chill Out

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Whether it’s strain and pressure within your unit as you work long hours to prepare for deployment, a disagreement with your spouse over something trivial that boils over, or a seemingly innocent debate with a friend that goes the wrong way, we can all expect to be blindsided by heated moments. Your reactions come quickly and before you know it, your heart is racing, your face is red and you’re saying the first thing that comes to mind (and that thing may not necessarily help the situation).

While disagreement and tension are normal and can even contribute to strengthening relationships, they can surely leave their mark if not carefully addressed. Unchecked anger and unresolved issues can fester, impacting the individuals directly involved, other colleagues or family members, and the mission at-hand. By taking a moment to be proactive, you can help to keep the pot from boiling over by exploring strategies to defuse intense situations.

Just in time for warmer weather and Mental Health Month, here are 5 Small ACTs to help you chill out:

Push Pause. The moment you see potential for a situation or conversation to escalate, call a time out. A lengthy explanation isn’t needed; just step back and offer to address things once all parties involved have had a chance to clear their heads and approach the problem calmly. Even if it’s just five minutes, creating some space between yourself and the issue can help you get a grasp on how you feel, what’s truly important and how you can work with others to move forward.

Breathe. This simple act is often taken for granted, but is an important first step in trying to get your emotional and physiological responses in check when the tension is rising. Taking a deep breath (two to three second inhale and exhale) can help to induce calm in the midst of calamity. If you have a few moments to yourself and can find a quiet space, try this Quick Fix Breathing Exercise or check out the exercises on the National Center for Telehealth and Technology’s Breathe2Relax app.

Laugh. Laughter can help thwart the release of stress hormones, kick-starting the production of hormones that are responsible for positively balancing your mood and promoting relaxation. Look at a funny GIF, head to your favorite blog or talk to someone who knows how to bring a smile to your face. A quick laugh can help you change the channel if you’re focused on a negative situation and enable you to approach a solution with a smile :).

Hit the gym, the track or the trails. You may find that your most productive days in the gym or your best run happen when you need to vent some frustration. Building exercise into your daily routine can help to burn negativity and rewire your brain after tense times. Whether it’s a run with a friend or mentor, weightlifting, interval training or yoga, turn to your favorite fitness regimen to maximize the mood-boost.

Communicate. If your situation involves conflict with another person, addressing it directly can lead to finding some common ground and getting things back on track sooner. Staying silent may only feed your emotions, leading to continued drama. When talking it out, try to use a neutral tone, make eye contact and explain how you perceived the issue or what led to the misunderstanding from your perspective. State that you would like to find a resolution that works for all parties involved (which may include compromising), and then actively listen to the other person or people involved. Instead of listening with the intent to dispute, make a point or interrupt, actually hear and process what the person is saying to you. Then restate it back in your own words to ensure that you have an understanding. Clarify whenever necessary and allow for natural silence, even when it may feel awkward. This will enable you to respond appropriately and meaningfully, minimizing the potential for a heated exchange. Other forms of communication may help you chill out by expressing your feelings, including journaling or speaking with a neutral person, such as a peer support advocate.

Before you land in your next heated moment, take some time to acknowledge what actions, words, topics or gestures are most likely to provoke you. Then note how you may react when these buttons are pushed. Taking this honest look at yourself proactively can help you keep off-the-cuff reactions at bay, enabling you to navigate issues calmly, learn from them and move forward. You may not be able to control others’ behavior or external situations, but with a little prep you can control your responses to them.

BONUS: Anger affecting your daily life? Check out this article from our partners at Real Warriors to help you identify your signs of anger and learn to navigate them in a healthy way. For more information on the Real Warriors campaign, visit www.realwarriors.net.

5 Benefits of Working Out with a Buddy


Editor’s Note: The following is a guest blog post provided courtesy of Guard Your Health. More information and tools are available at www.guardyourhealth.com.

We all know that staying fit and exercising is important. We also know that staying motivated to work out on a regular basis can be hard.

That’s why finding a good workout buddy is one of the smartest fitness moves you can make. Working out with a buddy can give you:


When you work out by yourself, it’s easy to lose motivation. A buddy will support you and cheer you on to help you reach your fitness goals.


It’s easy to bail on your own workout. But it’s much harder to ditch a workout when you know you’re going to be letting someone else down. Having a reliable workout buddy will help you stick to your goals.


As humans, we like to be competitive—even if it’s just good, friendly competition among friends. A buddy will challenge and push you to do more than you might do alone.


Working out can be boring, especially during long cardio sessions. Having a buddy to talk with while working out will make the time go by faster.


A buddy can share new exercises or workouts so that you can switch up your routine. This will keep your workouts fresh, as well as keep you motivated to try new moves.

So who qualifies as a good workout buddy? Here are some tips of what to look for when choosing one:

  • A good attitude. You want someone who is encouraging and positive.
  • A compatible style of motivation. You may need a drill sergeant to get motivated, or maybe a cheerleader.
  • Similar schedules. You want someone who is dependable, as well as available to consistently work out with you at the same times.
  • Similar fitness goals. You need to share similar fitness goals to be effective workout partners.
  • You want someone who makes working out enjoyable and even fun.

Finding a workout buddy can be as easy as looking around the gym during your workout, or calling a fitness-minded friend.



Navy Suicide Prevention Branch is a proud partner of Guard Your Health (www.guardyourhealth.com), a health and medical readiness campaign for Army National Guard Soldiers and their families sponsored by the Army National Guard Chief Surgeon’s Office. Guard Your Health provides Army National Guard Soldiers with the information, motivation, and support to overcome challenges and make healthy decisions for themselves, their families, and their units. To learn more about improving your health, visit the Guard Your Health website, like “Guard Your Health” on Facebook, and follow @ARNGHealth on Twitter. For more tips to max your APFT and stay mission ready, subscribe to FitText, Guard Your Health’s text message program, by texting FIT to 703-997-6747.