Tag Archives: friends

15 Simple Ways to Show Someone You Care

Smiling guy receiving support from friend

By establishing and maintaining a thriving support network, you can improve your own well-being. No matter the type of relationship, investing in your connections can strengthen your communication skills and help build personal resilience. Although building trust and rapport with others take time, the healthy relationships you prioritize in your life can help you navigate challenging situations and find new opportunities for growth. Whether it’s a shipmate, a coworker, a friend, a family member or someone else important to you, it is important to show others that you care about them. Cultivating strong social bonds often directly influences our own happiness.

Consider these easy ways to show someone close to you that you care this year:

Ask them how they are doing. This may seem like a no brainer, but some of your fellow Sailors may need a bit of a nudge to share something that’s on their mind. Stay in touch with family, friends and neighbors in person, online or by phone to see how they are doing. Use active listening: focus on what someone else is saying before responding with your insight and perspective.

Write them a handwritten letter. Writing a heartfelt note to a friend can brighten their day and show your appreciation for their presence in your life. Whether it’s for their birthday, or to provide support to them during a difficult time, or to thank a shipmate for going above and beyond, taking the time to put pen to paper highlights your ability to support them. Be authentic, open and emotive in your messages.

Give them a shout out on social media. For a more public way to highlight your camaraderie, give your friend or family member a quick shout out on social media. Post a picture of you with them and express the qualities that make them special to you.

Make them their favorite drink. Surprise a shipmate by giving them a tea, coffee, juice or blended smoothie to help boost their mood. Carving out a mindful moment may be just what someone needs to get through a stressful time.

Create a curated playlist. Show someone you care through creative means by making them a tailored music or podcast playlist. Consider working collaboratively with your shipmates or unit to make a list of songs, artists or podcast episodes to enjoy together.

Lend them your favorite book. If you have a book that’s impacted you positively, consider loaning it out to someone. For an extra dose of thoughtfulness, annotate parts of the book that remind you of the person or your favorite passages for easy skimming.

Send them a motivational quote. Although it may sound cheesy, passing on words of wisdom may help a shipmate have a refreshed perspective on a situation. Everyone interprets information and experiences differently, but encouraging and positive quotes may help establish connectedness.

Initiate plans on a consistent basis. Invite them to join you in a healthy activity – go to the gym with a fellow Sailor, attend a cultural event with your family or bring a friend to a cooking class for a new way to get creative. This will show them that you are committed to investing in your relationship and excited about spending quality time together.

Help free up their schedule. If a shipmate needs help caring for a baby, dog or cat, offer to take a shift so they have time to complete other activities. Even if they have not asked for help, expressing that you are available and willing to provide support will go a long way.

Introduce them to someone new. If you think one person close to you would benefit from getting to know someone else in your support network, make an introduction to bring them together. You may help foster new friendships or mentoring opportunities.

Give them a compliment. Expressing kind words is an instant way to open the door to increased positivity and connection. For ideas on how to give professional compliments to your fellow Sailors, check out this blog post.

Celebrate their successes. When your shipmate or someone else close to you succeeds, take a moment to recognize them – send them flowers, share their good news with others or treat them to something special. They will appreciate your support and feel even more confident about their recent win.

Offer to teach them something. Informally mentoring someone may help them discover new passion or hobby. If you’re an expert at using gym equipment for a full body workout or a photography pro, volunteer to show them the ropes.

Use direct language. Consider opportunities to say things like, “I’m thinking of you” or “This [event, idea, statement] made me think of you.” Showing people that you are actively taking the role they play in your life seriously is an easy way to be considerate.

Respect their need for space. If someone close to you is going through a particularly busy time or another trying life event, maintain healthy boundaries to ensure they can improve their well-being.

For additional holistic health and wellness tips for Sailors and families, visit us on Facebook and Twitter.

Celebrate Friendsgiving

Marines, Sailors gather for Thanksgiving feast

Traveling to relatives’ houses and gathering around the dinner table to give thanks and celebrate what we’re grateful for is an iconic American tradition. However, while congregating with family to watch the parade, cheer on a football team or cook the turkey can be fun and rewarding, celebrating Thanksgiving can also bring about an increased level of stress and anxiety. Travel costs, such as airfare, gas and possible hotel stays, can be expensive and pile up quickly. Traffic snarls can be stressful and plentiful. Work and leave schedules can be hectic and inflexible. This year, AAA has predicted the most Thanksgiving travel since 2007 with almost 49 million Americans expected to travel between November 23rd and November 27th – of which 43.5 million Americans are expected to travel at least 50 miles.

If you are celebrating Thanksgiving apart from loved ones this year – whether due to deployment, temporary duty status, relocation, travel costs, work schedules or other circumstances – you can still enjoy the spirit of Thanksgiving by celebrating “Friendsgiving.” Friendsgiving is a celebration of the Thanksgiving holiday among friends, and can fill a void for those unable to spend the holiday with family. Celebrating Friendsgiving can also help de-stress the Thanksgiving holiday and promote relaxation while still reaping the benefits of shared mealtimes. Gathering around the table to enjoy meals with shipmates, friends and/or family helps to foster community and promote connectedness and belongingness—protective factors against suicide and the negative effects of stress.

Whether it’s your first or fifteenth year spending the holiday with friends instead of family, here are a few tips to get you started hosting a great Friendsgiving:

  • Plan Ahead. The most celebrated meal of the year shouldn’t also be the most stressful and nerve-racking. Exercise Predictability, one of the Principles of Resilience, by making a plan, and use Controllability to determine what’s most important so that you’re not adding too much to your proverbial plate. Decide what you will provide for the meal and ask shipmates or friends to bring a dish so that you’re each contributing to the meal’s success. Challenge each other to try a new recipe or offer alternatives for those who may not be able to contribute a dish (paper goods, setup and clean-up duty, etc.). Check out some of Guard Your Health’s Class I Recipes for inspiration.
  • Break Tradition to Make Tradition. Let Friendsgiving be the start of a new tradition for you and your shipmates, during the holidays and throughout the year. It’s not just about a meal—you can go around the table and each share something that you’re grateful for, reflect on a positive experience or offer some encouragement for the days ahead. This not only helps to connect with Meaning, but it also helps to reduce stress, anxiety and stay focused on the positive.
  • Play a game. Bring a board game, break out a deck of cards, look up a group game app or play a quick game of football. Play is an important, and sometimes overlooked, aspect of adult life. Engaging in play improves relationships, fosters connections with others and fuels emotional well-being.

Know that you are not alone. A national survey found that 42% of 25-34 year olds and 37% of 18 to 24 year olds planned to spend the holiday with friends last year in 2015 and that number is expected to increase. Last year, more than 75,000 Friendsgiving Facebook events  were created in November and mentions of “Friendsgiving” on the money transfer app Venmo doubled. More and more people are holding an annual Friendsgiving for the same reasons many families do Thanksgiving: to maintain relationship bonds amid the hectic pace of the year. It’s about being there for Every Sailor, Every Day.

Call a Holiday Time Out

Chaplain Benjamin Box, who serves DESRON 23 at Naval Base San Diego, Calif., shares ways to regain your holiday perspective through an intentional timeout. Prior to his military service, Chaplain Box was a civilian pastor for 10 years.

Along with the challenges of shopping, traveling, decorating, attending parties, consuming calories, and balancing family expectations, it seems as though we can find ourselves with an abundance of eggnog and ugly sweaters, yet suffering a shortage of money, time, and peace of mind.

Shipmates, let me encourage you to hit your pause button and call a “Holiday Time Out.” Be brave enough to slow down, find meaning, and rediscover perspective. A time out can be a walk, journaling, star-gazing, or simply giving yourself space to gather your thoughts for an hour. Now that you have this special time set aside, what do you do?

1. Reflect.

  • Family: Take time to give thanks for your family. Maybe write them a note or a letter and mail it to them or place it in their stocking.
  • Friends: Express gratitude for true friends who enrich your life. Make a point to call a friend or two to catch up; or better yet, schedule a time to get together and “talk life” over lunch or a coffee.
  • Faith: For many, the holiday season represents more than “winter” break and festive decorations. If you are a person of faith, set aside some time to refresh your soul, and to connect with the One who gives you hope, meaning, purpose, strength, and a reason to rejoice.

2. Regroup and Re-enter. Next, you will now want to prioritize and prepare to tackle the sources of your holiday stress. In your mind, or on paper, walk through the days ahead and ask yourself: What stress points can be reduced? Who do you need to discuss this with? Are expectations aligned and realistic? How can you be proactive, intentional, and assertive? With these questions addressed you can move forward with confidence, ready to make the most of the meaningful days ahead.

3. Focus. As 2014 draws to an end, give consideration to how the year went for you, and to how satisfied you are with it. What accomplishments are you proud of? What regrets do you have? What lessons did you learn? What memories did you make? How did you grow? Are you happy with whom you are as a person? What goals do you have for yourself in 2015? Do you have a clear vision for the year ahead and what you want your priorities to be?

Once you have completed your holiday time out, my sincere hope is that pressure gives way to perspective. May this busy, holiday season and New Year be blessed for you and your loved ones.